


Burden

by AndixxYukie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gore, Titans, Violence, attack on titan - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 12:48:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14285268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndixxYukie/pseuds/AndixxYukie
Summary: Levi, humanity's strongest, was powerless when the one person important to him needed him most.





	Burden

Levi Ackerman, the man that was said to be as strong as an entire brigade. Humanity’s strongest soldier, yet here he is in the middle of the battlefield, with panic in his eyes and blood on his hands.

“(Y/N)! Stay with me!” He pleaded, voice heavy with emotion and urgency. “Petra, Eld! Help me… belt! I need a belt!” His subordinates were stunned, they’ve never seen their captain like this. But their training kicked in, Petra rushed to Eld’s side and helped him in untangling his belt and leather straps - they need a tourniquet and quick.

“Captain!” She handed the belt over, switching places with Levi to cradle (Y/N)’s head. “It’s going to be alright. You’re going to be alright.” She tried to comfort (Y/N), as much as she could considering her current state. She can’t stop the dark thought at the back of her mind. She’s seen many deaths, after all.

Eld moved over the wound - an ugly gash at (Y/N)’s leg. The view was definitely unpleasant - a mix of titan’s saliva, blood, crushed bones and mushed up flesh. Eld felt sorry for the girl. With precision and care, he managed to lift the limb for Levi to slip the belt.

“Why won’t it stop!” Levi growled, frustration evidents in his almost inhuman snarl and the shaking of his hands. “There’s too much blood…” He was at his wit’s end. He wasn’t trained for this! Killing titans and waving his blades is something he could do in his sleep, but this?

“Aggh!” (Y/N) gripped onto Petra’s arm, she can feel her strength abandon her as her blood flow freely from her leg wound. She couldn’t look at it - she doesn’t want to see what that titan did to her. Because aside from the pain, all she feels is fear. Fear of what would happen. And seeing Levi, the strongest person she ever knew, to break down like this scares her. “Levi…” She called.

“Captain! The medic’s here!” Gunther arrived, with said medic in tow. (Y/N)’s voice was drowned out as the people around her rushed about.

“What do we do?” Levi was beside himself. He gave way to the medic, opting to move closer to (Y/N)’s head and grabbing her hand in his. The creeping coldness in her fingers alarmed him. No. This can’t happen.

“Levi…” (Y/N) called again, not once paying mind to the other people around her aside from Levi.

“(Y/N), the medic is here. He knows what to do. You’ll live. Please.”

She mustered all her strength to shake her head. She felt something cold near the pain… She also tried to smile. This must be it, she thought. She knew this would happen eventually. As Survey Corps soldiers, they always have one foot in a grave. “I love you, Levi.” Finality weighed down her words. Levi’s grip on her hand tightened, and a whole other kind of fierceness shone in his eyes.

“No. Not yet, (Y/N). Not like this.” Anger was taking over him now. Why is this happening? To her?! He turned his attention to the man who could save you, and was surprised to see a blade - not much different from the one he uses - held just above your wound. “What are you doing?” His anger found a target, and like a drunk man he lost control. “What the fuck are you doing? Shouldn’t you stitch it close? Stop the bleeding!” He was screaming now, throwing all his frustrations at the man. He was about to say something more when he felt her grip loosen, just a bit, yet that shook him to the core. He was losing her fast.

“You have to stay calm, captain. She needs you. (Y/N) needs you.”

“She’s unconscious!” Petra announced, still cradling (Y/N) on her lap. Her eyes are now filled with tears as well.

For the first time since (Y/N) started bleeding, Levi was speechless. His vision was blurry. Is this it? His throat was suddenly very dry, and a lump seemingly formed. It’s as if a Titan held on to his body - held on so tight he could be crushed!   
“(Y/N).”

***

It’s been almost three days since that hell of an expedition. Levi never left your bedside. You lived! You actually survived! However, it was bittersweet. Levi looked at your legs - no, leg. You had to be amputated, there was just no way of fixing those crushed bones of yours.

“I failed you, (Y/N).” Levi said, voiced laced with bitter regret and guilt. He promised to protect you! “Humanity’s strongest… tch!” his warm hands found yours. How will he face you when you wake up? Though, it seems as if he wouldn’t have much time to think about it as in that moment, your eyes fluttered open.

“(Y/N)!” Despite all the things he feels, relief washed over him.

“Levi…?” Your eyes were trying to adjust as you looked around. Indoors? Your sight landed on Levi - dark eyes locked on yours. You raised your hand to his face - he looks so worried! Caressing his cheek, you can’t stop the tears. “I… I’m still here.”

He nodded, grabbing your hand on his face, and shed tears himself. “Yes. You didn’t leave me, like you promised.” Emotions became too much and he pried your hand to kiss it again and again. It definitely didn’t satisfy him as you both found his hands caressing your face, and just when he was about to kiss you, he hesitated. You didn’t miss the flash of guilt that went over his face.

“What is it?” A mix of grief and guilt is on his face, and you can’t help the feeling of dread spreading through you.

“I’m … sorry.” He muttered. Dread was replaced by confusion. Why is he apologizing?

“You’re sorry? Levi -” your hands flew to his, which are still at the sides of your face, “you saved me! I’m alive because of you.”

“I wasn’t… I wasn’t able to protect all of you.”

Levi wasn’t making much sense to you - but you do understand that he’s being like this has something to do with what happened. You might have already been halfway in the Titan’s mouth when he got to you, but he still saved you. You wanted to comfort him, and you decided that a hug would do just the trick. You tried to sit up, but something is wrong - so terribly wrong!

“I can’t feel my leg.” Pushing yourself up by the elbow with Levi assisting you, you finally looked down at your injury. The flatness of one side of the blanket from the knee down left you feeling cold. “Oh no…” Throwing the blanket aside, you saw what Levi meant about not being able to protect all of you. There was nothing where your right leg should be… nothing.

Empty. That word perfectly described just what you felt in that moment. You weren’t aware that you were crying again, not until Levi wrapped you with his strong arms and let you cry on his chest.

  
***

The next few days passed in a blur. Your fellow soldiers - those who lived through the latest expedition at least - paid you visits. You never missed the look of pity in their eyes, or the tone of their voices when they talked to you. Pity reigned supreme throughout it. Pity because you’re broken - incomplete.

Levi was always at your side. And you are thankful, somewhat, for his presence. For he has never pitied you. But the guilty look he’s giving you is starting to make you feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t his fault, you know it.

Levi was there for your first physical therapy session. Getting used to using crutches is harder Than it seems. You stumbled and almost fell over so many times - if it weren’t for Levi, you surely would have you face perfectly etched on the floor!

It has been almost three weeks, and you still can’t move around without Levi’s help. And somehow, this feels worse than actually losing a limb. A burden, it’s all you are now.

“(Y/N), I made us tea. And, uh, here.” Levi set up the tray on your lap, your and his regular tea and a serving of boiled sweet potatoes. That’s new.

“Sweet potatoes?” You inquired. He usually just gives you tea before bed, occasionally some cookies.

“They’re apparently good for regaining energy.” You knew what this meant, he was asking around again. See, you’re a soldier… you were a soldier, but it seems like you can’t really carry your own weight on one leg and a crutch. You still aren’t capable enough to move on your own. A burden.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to do that… this.” You gestured towards the tray. For the past weeks, Levi has been helping you - attending to your every need, completely abandoning his duties as a captain. And you know you can’t do that to him. You can’t stop him from living his life.

Levi let go of a heavy sigh. “(Y/N), we’ve been over this. I want to help. It’s not even a month, you’re still getting used to this. And I’m here with you, every step of the way.”

“But -”

“But nothing. You’re not a burden to me.”

“I’m not? But I can’t do anything! I can’t…”

“You’re still learning, (Y/N). Before you know it, you’ll be able to do a lot of things on your own again.” Setting the tray aside, he sat on the bed beside you, gathering you in his arms.

“Levi… I’m just… I just want to be able to pull my weight in this relationship. I don’t want you to spend your life taking care of me.”

“But that’s not how this is, (Y/N). You’re the strongest person I know. Remember when we first got together? What you promised me?”

You remembered that day like it was yesterday. And so, you recited the promise that you made. “That I’ll never fail to hold your hand and walk with you through this life? That if you ever feel scared about anything, I will take on whatever for the two of us?”

He nodded, and as if it were possible he drew you closer to him. “Yes. You will have enough courage for the two of us. And we need it now, (Y/N). And I promise you now, I’ll have enough strength for the two of us. I will be your leg whenever you need it. We share the reigns, (Y/N). Both of us do things for the other. You’re not a burden and you’ll never be.”

You were filled with emotion that it felt like your heart was going to burst! He told you something so beautiful, a promise so loving that it seems wrong to say anything after it and ruin the moment. But then it hit you. Of course there is something you could tell him in a moment like this!

“I love you, Levi.”


End file.
